Its been awhile and recently TVXQ had landed in Malaysia since 2006. it would be a lie if I didn't have any jealousy feeling towards Cassies who attend to the concert. A little part of me
It had been 7 years.
7 years since I see them in my small television, being a girl who got immediately attracted to some music, I held my head to my small television as I heard some catchy song on the news, the reporter was making a broadcast about some concert being held in Malaysia that time.
"Ooooo. Oooooo. Ooooo. Oooooo. Ooooo. Oh~"
That phrase so catchy to me, I almost immediately like the rhyme, my eyes keep on fix on the news and my ears keep recording the phrase. When I see through the television, the camera angle zoomed out and I can see small 5 figure-like is dancing.
"Oohh, they're the first korean group to perform huh? Who are they?"
My question got stuck there; for 4 years it had been stuck.
Being only 12 years old and hard to get to internet connection that time, whenever I'm boring, I keep humming to the rhyme that my little hazy memory stored. Each day passed and I being a girl who just 13, starting to adapt into teenage world; began to having social account and often went to cyber cafe. There, I always searched to the group, the owner of the catchy rhyme.
But, I just a girl who know nothing about music.
I never thought to abandoning my search on that particular group, and Korean wave is not that powerful at that time; all I know from them is that they were Korean singer.
Korean wave become a tsunami in late 2009 after Super Junior release their spell chanting song Sorry Sorry. Frankly to say, I was introduced in Kpop by my friend and she was SJ fans so I just follow her, hoping that my chance to know the
It happens when I was monitoring my school cyber cafe and in the same time, enjoying the Mirotic over and over. That time, I am partially SJ fans and trying to be a hardcore one, but somehow I didn't feel like I was feel when I remember that group rhyme. I didn't feel excited. I think, maybe this is not my place. I try to holding on and ELFs so kind and understanding me. They try to assure me that someday I will find place that is mine.
I lost count on how many times I repeat Mirotic and I already memorize the lyric within an hour. As I browsing, my eyes locked on a video which titled "mkmf sick xiah junsu perform 'o' picnicxiah". Being a soft heart I got, I clicked on the link and watch the video.
The song, the dance is all too familiar to me until that part comes out.
"Oooooo. Ooooo. Ooooo. Oooo. Ooooo. Ohh!"
My mind had blown, I got numbed and my hands shivering. Tears almost puddled in my eyes. Its the group I searched for. To proved me that this is the sing, I listen to the studio version of 'O' which I learn that the real name of the song is 'O.Jung.Ban.Hap'.
No mistaken, it is really the song I search, admired and crazy about. I nearly cried, after 4 years of searching I finally found my stars. That second, that moment, I find my place and declaring I am Cassiopeia. Vowing that I will never forget them again and will never leave Cassiopeia in thick and thin.
My love for the unknown people at that time, my trusting that I will someday find them and my promise is what makes me whole as a Cassiopeia. However, sky isn't always bright and birds isn't always chirping for makes me happy.
I come to learn that they are no longer as 5. Some crisis that makes a 16 years old girl never understand about what kind of idea they thinking. And I was forced to grow up, forced to learn about laws thingy, forced to build a solid and strong heart. I spend my days in dull heartache. Every time I recalled my vows and the magic words 'Always Keep The Faith' it always moved me to turn into matured 16 years old girl.
A matured girl who cherish friendship, love, family because of that one single group. They teach me so much, so much that I be able to dwell in my relationship. I, the one who ever being a stubborn friend; always want to win, become a tolerate and always giving up only for a harmony relationship. I, the one who always neglecting my role as a daughter and sister, become the one who love and protect her treasure.
They teach me so much that sometimes I always fell into emoshinki state.
JYJ comeback and I was happy. Happy that part of them return.
TVXQ comeback and I was happy. Happy that the part of them return. Again.
But fandom split into stans, bias, group and such. Another episode of the turning point in the fandom.
Thousands of drama had I seen in this fandom, thousands of dirty comments I had read, thousands of offense towards JYJ and TVXQ I witnessed.
My heart never falter. I trust on what they planning. My heart keep filled with love they giving. Despite of the fans keep leaving the fandom, I will not step back. Why would I after 4 yeard of searching and demanding of the love? Why?
Those fans should be lucky that that ever love the 5 weren't they?
Now, even though fandom drama never cease, I keep moving on to love those 5 adorable boys. Bias doesn't exist in my dictionary. Everytime I got into emoshinki, I always recalled their hardwork to keep the name alive, to always stay with us fans.
That's how I got into the fandom and called myself a Cassiopeia; a sitting Queen who wait her Kings to return. Yeah, we are Cassiopeia who always supported our 5 boys and waiting for them to return home.
Jung Yunho | Kim Jaejoong | Park Yoochun | Kim Junsu | Shim Changmin
You said to us that you promise to not disappointed us and you did kept the promise. Whoever you are, Cassiopeia will always love you, cherish you, hoping the best for you. Thank you for the love. Be safe, be healthy.
I will find another chance to meet you. If not here, it will be hereafter. To show to you my love, trust and promise.
